Your youngest wedding attendants, the ring bearer and flower girl, will enter the ceremony after the groomsmen and bridesmaids have done so. Because of the ring bearer's young age, this is one of the most adorable parts of the ceremony, but it can also go wrong. Find out what is expected of the ring bearer and what you can do to help him out on the big day.
Traditionally, the ring bearer is a young boy who is either related to or very close with the bride and husband. Along the aisle he will hand off the rings to the newlyweds. During the procession, the rings are traditionally transported on a cushion held by the ring bearer. A youngster under the age of ten traditionally serves as a flower girl, however this is not required.
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How to Choose a Ring Bearer?
Find a young man who will treat his position as a priority and a privilege in your life with the seriousness it deserves. There is no rule that says you have to pick just one ring bearer, so if you can't decide between two kids, you can have both. Send them down the aisle holding hands with rings you've given them. One can also serve as a train bearer (or page boy) if the train is particularly long. To avoid any emotional breakdowns or stage fright, it's probably best to have the young child in question be escorted down the aisle by a trusted bridesmaid. Obviously, a female can also serve as ring bearer. She can wear the same dress as the flower girl if you so choose, or something completely different.
There are a variety of modern and historical considerations when choosing a ring bearer.
The etiquette expert Emily Post suggests the ages of three to seven, while Martha Stewart prefers the ages of five to ten. Obviously, the couple is free to ask any child, regardless of age, to serve as ring bearer; however, they may need to make some adjustments in order to do so. I'll give you an example:
- Young children, especially infants and toddlers, may require the assistance of an adult to navigate the aisles.
- Younger children should sit with their parents throughout the service, but older children can take on more responsibilities, such as standing for the entire service.
It was customary for a young boy to serve as the wedding's ring bearer. This, however, is not etched in stone. It's fine if you'd rather choose a remarkable young lady for this position. Dresses with black details (resembling tuxedos) are one option, but she could also wear a dress like a flower girl does and just have her job be to carry the ring cushion.
Taking your relationship with the child's parents and the child into account is essential. If the couple has children and they are not actively serving in another capacity, those children will typically take precedence. Alternatives include close relatives like a nephew or godchild, or even a close friend.
The children of your friends and family may feel obligated to act as ring bearers in your wedding if your child served in that capacity at their wedding. You shouldn't feel obligated to ask a kid for help, but if you know you won't be able to return the favour, it might be worth it to think about asking them for assistance in another way (such as manning the guest book table).
Even though the ring bearer is a traditional part, you may run into some unique situations. I'll give you an example:
- The little ones can take turns carrying the rings down the aisle in pairs if there is more than one. However, if you're planning a small wedding, having more than four guests in total might be too much.
- Despite being named the "ring bearer" in the programme, no one should hold the baby up front of the church while the ceremony is in progress.
- Perhaps a much-loved pet would be the ideal candidate. Be sure to get permission from the venue first, and only bring a well-trained pet. If you're looking for a pet, consider a dog who is obedient and used to people over a cat who hides from everyone who comes over.
- If you are unable to make the right choice, it is not unheard of to forego the traditional ring bearer.
Create a list of potential ring bearers
It may be easy to decide who will serve as ring bearer if you already have young children, if you have siblings, or if the young son of your best friend is always eager to show you his latest collection of toys whenever you visit. However, if none of the preceding apply to you, selecting a ring bearer can be more difficult, so you may need to get creative. If you don't have any teenagers in your immediate family, perhaps you could have older children serve as ushers or junior groomsmen. Perhaps you have no boys in the family and, instead of having six flower girls, you'd like to designate three as ring bearers. Try something new, regardless of your age or gender!
When choosing between potential ring bearers, it can be helpful to think about who has and has not previously participated in a wedding. If everyone in your group is getting married within a year's time, and your friend's son has already been the ring bearer at three weddings, you might want to ask another friend's child or a relative if they would like to be involved instead.
The parents will play an important role, too
Your ring bearer will get his big moment to shine, but his parents will have a lot of preparation to do. They'll need to buy him a wedding outfit (unless you're willing to foot the bill), get him ready for the big day, keep him under control during the ceremony, deal with tantrums, and more. Make sure the child's parents are on board with him being the ring bearer before making your final decision. It could be less of a hassle for the parents if they are already part of the wedding party. If the parents have other young children who will need supervision, think about how early they will need to arrive for the festivities and how you can schedule things like snacks and naps around their arrival.
You should have the parents of the ring bearer sit in the front row or two of seats along the aisle during the ceremony. They can serve as a diversion for the tens or hundreds of guests and help steer the young ring bearers in that direction. We suggest having the ring bearer sit with a parent or other family member once he has reached the end of the aisle, rather than having him continue to stand with the rest of the wedding party.
No matter the circumstances, you must always ask the ring bearer's parents for their blessing before inviting them to your wedding. Once you have his or her consent, you are free to use whatever means you like to ask him to be a part of your wedding. This could be a brand new toy, a thoughtful card, or even a special treat. It's important to talk to the parents about what their child needs to wear if they're going to be paying for it.
What a Ring Bearer Should Wear
Mini "groomsmen," in which the ring bearer dons a toy version of a traditional tuxedo, are a popular trend. Also, if the flower girl is going to be wearing a white dress instead of something that goes with the bridesmaids' dresses, the ring bearer should probably wear something that stands out. Young ring bearers can look dapper in a traditional Eton jacket and short pants. Your ring bearer can wear a miniature version of the outfits worn by the groomsmen, or something else that is both age-appropriate and complementary, if your wedding is not overly formal. The ring bearer will carry a ring pillow, available at most bridal boutiques and on the web.
How Do I Get My Ring Bearer Ready?
A good idea would be to get a book about being the ring bearer for kids. He will better understand and value his role as a result. In order for him to see his parents as he walks down the aisle and throughout the ceremony, they should be seated in the first row, aisle seats. Make sure he uses the restroom before the ceremony by having a groomsman act as his buddy. If you must give him a pillow before he walks down the aisle, wait until he has already spoken his vows and tie on a set of wedding bands that aren't real. It's important to remember that the ring bearer is still a kid at heart and that, as a result, mishaps are possible and even likely. If you're a stickler for tradition, choose an older child to be your ring carrier; otherwise, you can do without. Are you in the market for wedding bands? Check out our list of Wedding Ring Shops to help you choose.
Make sure you give your ring bearer a rundown of their duties and the wedding's timeline in the days leading up to the ceremony. Remember to rein in any bridezilla tendencies if a child in attendance is serving as the ring bearer and acts up before or during the ceremony; after all, they are just a kid, and mishaps at weddings are inevitable. As long as they know how significant this day is to you and your loved one, however, you shouldn't have any problems.
The ring bearer should practise walking down the aisle before the big day, and a rehearsal dinner is the perfect time to do so.
The ring bearer pillow is the final and most crucial component. You should make sure the rings can be tied securely to the pillow and won't fall off, whether you go with a classic white or ivory one or a funky patterned one.
At the wedding, the ring bearer is responsible for:
- Join the line for the procession and proceed down the aisle.
- Bring along a special pillow for the ceremony (such as a fun sign). Instead of real rings, fake ones are sewn onto the pillow.
- Wait in the front until the officiant has finished speaking, and then he can sit in the front pew with his parents.
- Proceed with the rest of the bridal party to the rear of the venue as the recessional begins.
- Typically, the ring bearer is not included in the reception's receiving line.
It's possible that the kid doesn't want to be introduced at the reception if he's been tired from a long day. This needs to be recognised and accommodated by all involved.
The ring bearer and his family typically take seats near the head of the reception hall. On the other hand, he may be invited to join the VIPs at the head table if he is a bit older or the offspring of one of the other attendants or the couple.
There's a chance the ring bearer would rather not join in the dance at all, or at least do his own thing. Tell him he's welcome to join even though kids aren't required to.
For the sake of their children's safety, parents of ring bearers may wish to leave the reception early. Having this conversation before the wedding will ensure that the couple and their parents are on the same page. However, before leaving, parents should make an effort to give their final congratulations. Check out our post on Best Page Boy Wedding & Flower girl Dresses Attire Shops.
Importance of a Ring Bearer
The ring bearer's role in the wedding is crucial, and he should know it. If his parents and the couple can make him at home, he'll do fine.
Most likely, a younger sibling or cousin would be the best option. You could have cousins who are already parents. A godchild or close family friend is another great option. Having a ring bearer is a lovely way to involve young children in your ceremony, but it's not required if you don't know any young boys. The best man usually holds the actual rings regardless.
FAQs About Wedding Ring Bearer
The ring bearer is a direct name for his role. That is to carry the ring down the aisle to the altar. It is a young male between the ages of five and ten. Any younger and you may have trouble having them pay attention or they may get fussy.
In a traditional ceremony, the ring keeper is the Best Man, and he holds the rings until called upon for the Ring Exchange in the wedding ceremony. But it doesn't have to be the Best Man; anything goes here. I've had couples choose one ring to go to the Best Man and the other to the Maid of Honour.
Typically the ring bearer is the nephew of the bride or groom, or the child of the maid of honour, best man, or another close friend.
One of the most adorable parts of any wedding is the charming duo of a flower girl and ring bearer. Typically the age range most appropriate for a ring bearer or flower girl falls between ages 4 to 10 years old. However, weddings today showcase toddlers and even infants in these distinguished roles.
The ring bearer carries fake rings. Yes, you'll surprisingly be using decoy rings for the ring bearer to carry down the aisle. The Best Man should hold onto the REAL rings in his pocket.
Traditionally, the ring bearer is a young boy with ties to the bride and groom. It is customary for a flower girl to be a child younger than ten years old, but this is not a rule. Selecting a ring bearer involves a number of modern and historical factors. Young boys traditionally play the role of ring bearer at weddings. While most situations call for a child to carry the rings, there are a few exceptions.
Close friends or family members, or even a properly trained pet, are viable alternatives. If you already have young children in the family, selecting one of them to be the ring bearer may be a breeze. Otherwise, you might have to get resourceful and come up with a different plan of action. Consider who has and has not served as ring bearer in the past when planning for a friend's or relative's wedding. At the ceremony, the best seats for parents are the first one or two rows along the aisle.
It's vital to have a discussion with the parents about the appropriate attire for their child. The ring bearer will use a ring pillow, which can be purchased at any bridal shop or online. Prior to the big day, the ring bearer should get some experience making the journey down the aisle. Have one of the groomsmen accompany him to the bathroom before the ceremony to ensure he uses it. The ring bearer pillow is not used for real rings, but rather fakes that are sewn onto the pillow.
If the kid has had a long day, he might not want to be introduced at the reception. Traditionally, the ring bearer and his family are seated at the very front of the reception hall. If they're worried about their child's safety, parents of ring bearers might want to leave the reception early.
- Your youngest wedding attendants, the ring bearer and flower girl, will enter the ceremony after the groomsmen and bridesmaids have done so.
- Find out what is expected of the ring bearer and what you can do to help him out on the big day.
- Traditionally, the ring bearer is a young boy who is either related to or very close with the bride and husband.
- It was customary for a young boy to serve as the wedding's ring bearer.
- Taking your relationship with the child's parents and the child into account is essential.
- The children of your friends and family may feel obligated to act as ring bearers in your wedding if your child served in that capacity at their wedding.
- Create a list of potential ring bearers
- It may be easy to decide who will serve as ring bearer if you already have young children, if you have siblings, or if the young son of your best friend is always eager to show you his latest collection of toys whenever you visit.
- When choosing between potential ring bearers, it can be helpful to think about who has and has not previously participated in a wedding.
- Make sure the child's parents are on board with him being the ring bearer before making your final decision.
- It could be less of a hassle for the parents if they are already part of the wedding party.
- You should have the parents of the ring bearer sit in the front row or two of seats along the aisle during the ceremony.
- No matter the circumstances, you must always ask the ring bearer's parents for their blessing before inviting them to your wedding.
- A good idea would be to get a book about being the ring bearer for kids.
- Make sure you give your ring bearer a rundown of their duties and the wedding's timeline in the days leading up to the ceremony.
- Remember to rein in any bridezilla tendencies if a child in attendance is serving as the ring bearer and acts up before or during the ceremony; after all, they are just a kid, and mishaps at weddings are inevitable.
- It's possible that the kid doesn't want to be introduced at the reception if he's been tired from a long day.
- The ring bearer and his family typically take seats near the head of the reception hall.
- Tell him he's welcome to join even though kids aren't required to.
- For the sake of their children's safety, parents of ring bearers may wish to leave the reception early.
- The ring bearer's role in the wedding is crucial, and he should know it.
- If his parents and the couple can make him at home, he'll do fine.
- The best man usually holds the actual rings regardless.