How to choose groomsmen?

The task of selecting the ideal best men can be much more difficult than anticipated for some grooms, while it may be simple for others. Consider this: You can choose your crew from your closest friends, college roommates, brothers, cousins, and even long-lost elementary school friends. Additionally, there is the best man decision to consider. Oh, and there may also be potential future in-law brothers present. Don't worry. Here's how to put together the ideal team to support you on your wedding day.

Most couples decide to extend invitations to loved ones who will be staying with them. Today, without the presence of the attractive bridesmaids, maid of honour, and handsome groomsmen, no wedding would be complete. These very special guests play crucial roles in a wedding as the bride and groom's trusted friends and emotional support team as well as helping hands during the planning process.

Many couples are overjoyed to choose their "entourage," but not everyone is aware of the precise duties that should be performed when assembling a bridal party. Read the first to learn more about the fundamentals of the bridal party as well as novel approaches to inviting friends and family to join your wedding squad.

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Table of Contents

What Do Groomsmen Do, Anyway?

You'd think your brothers were just hanging out to look sharp.

But these title-holders also have real responsibilities. To begin with, these individuals will assist you in all aspects of wedding preparation. These men ultimately serve as your biggest support system, whether it's planning and funding an epic bachelor party (a la The Hangover movie), ushering guests on your wedding day (unless you've chosen ushers), or dancing with bridesmaids and single women at your bash. Ah, yes! and enjoying the custom of the groom's cake!

Best Man Tips

Start With Siblings

When deciding who will be in your wedding party, look no further than your brothers and sisters. Give them the full honour if they are close to your age, but relegate them to the role of usher or junior attendant if they are much younger. Nothing also prevents a bride from appointing her brother as a groomsman or a groom from appointing his sister as a bridesmaid.

Emphasize Reliability

Even if you don't want your bridesmaids or groomsmen to have a major hand in organising the wedding, it's good to know you can count on them when you need them. Given the tight timelines on the day of the wedding and the deadlines for bridesmaid dress orders, your friend who is chronically bad at returning your calls or keeping their commitments might not be the best option. Instead, pick pals you know will respond to your emails, show up on time (or early), and be more prepared than you are (hello, bride's brain).

Consider Personalities

Before you go sending out "Will You Be My Bridesmaid?" gifts, think about how well your wedding party will get along. Everyone on your list doesn't have to get along, but if one person has a more dominant or even abrasive personality, you should take precautions to avoid any unnecessary friction.

Be Mindful of Budget

Everyone knows that being a wedding attendant can break the bank. It's possible to rack up quite a bill between flights, gifts, and bachelor/bachelorette parties, even if you pay for their hotel stay or chip in towards the suit/dress. If you know your friend is having financial difficulties, call them before making a formal request. Tell them that you'd love to have them in the wedding party, but that if they can't afford it, there are still other ways they can be involved. Close friends make great readers and toasters at the rehearsal dinner and can help pass out programmes or act as ushers during the ceremony.

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Think About Feelings

Having fewer bridesmaids or best men can be a simple way to avoid any awkward situations. Choosing to stand next to just your sister and your childhood best friend rather than two or three friend groups and ten or more "maids" can be a huge stress reliever. However, if you intend to have a sizable wedding party and there is one friend who isn't officially invited, it might be best to include them.

Pick a ballpark figure.

The number of men who serve as groomsmen is entirely up to you. In reality, you can't rely on a generalisation. If, on the other hand, you learn best when presented with a set of predetermined guidelines. The recommended ratio of groomsmen to guests is one man for every 50 guests. Even if you opt for a traditional wedding in which the groomsmen lead the bridesmaids through the aisle, you are free to have as many or few female attendants as male.

Don't feel like you need to add groomsmen to the wedding party just to make the number of attendees even if you and your partner prefer an odd number. Your wedding party should not include more than three people if you and your brother or other close relative are getting married, along with two of your closest friends. Include them in the ceremony by assigning them tasks like seating guests or passing out programmes to avoid the stares of those who felt excluded. You should also not limit the guest list for the bachelor party to the men present at the wedding reception.

Think about old and new family members.

Congratulations! You can expect to meet a large number of new cousins very quickly. You should also invite your partner's family and friends to the wedding, not just the best man and your own. The person may have a prefered brother or close male friend who they'd like you to invite. You should give it some serious thought if you are confident in your ability to handle them. Is it not your cup of tea to have a wedding and reception in the traditional style? Let them go all the way in. Your brother or best female buddy can help you out, and your partner's family and male friends can do the same for them.

Think of a best man

The best man selection process must now be discussed. One of your brothers, cousins, or close friends is likely to be reliable, appropriate (at the appropriate time, like during his reception toast), active, and well-organized. You'll need him to plan the bachelor party, corral the groomsmen, and keep you sane during the whirlwind of wedding preparations, so make sure you pick the right guy.

The Dynamics of the Group

For your groomsmen, think about the men who play pivotal roles in your life right now. The night before the wedding is probably not the ideal time to find out that you and your best friend from high school have grown apart. During the preparation phase, your attention will already be spread thin. Before, during, and after the ceremony, you should be surrounded by reliable and at ease friends and family members.

Culling The Herd

And yes, we do take into account the possibility that you are the Big Man on Campus among your friends. Perhaps there are many men in your life who have earned your respect. Dirk from Receiving may not be invited to your wedding just because he bought you six shots for your birthday last year. Your spouse's family probably has eight to ten guests at each gathering, so you can expect to have no more than six or four. Our phone number has already been recorded. You should definitely ask about it. We can wait if you like... Got it? Ok, that's cool with me.

Consider, "Who was the first person I told about my engagement?" He probably is the best man. To rely on your best friend for sound advice and to raise a glass with you in times of celebration is to know that you have someone you can always count on.

That's when you should start recruiting your buddies to be your groomsmen. Was Bob someone you could count on to come help you move? Is it okay to contact Ulysses if you have a flat tyre at 11:59 p.m.? Did Trevor return your leaf blower with the same amount of gas that he borrowed?

Most of your friends are better suited to the role of "wedding guest." Prioritizing the people on your list based on how long they have been there during the tough times is necessary if you want to ask only the top 4-6 (or whatever number your future spouse prefers) of them to be a part of your wedding party. Can you recall it even now? Yes, let's hold off a little longer.

Avoiding Temptation

Ok, so you made a list. A question needs to be asked right now: Is there anyone here that you've recently met? Was it possible that it was someone you met at the bar last month? Also, a new hire who hasn't yet completed their probationary period of 90 days.

I agree that making new friends is an excellent way to brighten one's outlook. However, this does not mean that they are prepared to don a suit and fight by your side. Just because you've spent good time together or they've helped you out of a jam doesn't mean you've known each other long enough to invite them to your wedding. Even if you were drinking buddies last week, that could all change in a month. Learn to restrain yourself. You can trust that they will represent you and your wedding with dignity and class. Wait for the dust to settle and then send out invitations.

RESPECT THE WALLET OF YOUR CREW

It's not easy, but it's important to find out if each prospective best man can afford to rent a tux, take a break from work, and/or travel from a far distance towards the wedding.

If the wedding is in an exotic location or calls for elaborate costuming, it might be beyond the financial and logistical reach of even your closest bros to pull this off.

Please understand that we have faith that the vast majority will figure it out if they truly desire to participate. The real bros won't only show up in tuxes and carry 12-year-old bottles of scotch and premium cigars from another time zone; they'll also bring their wives and kids.

If they can afford it, of course.

When in doubt, it doesn't hurt to ask for assistance. Consider their situation before making the offer, and do so only if you're certain they'll accept your understanding if they decline.

Have two or more backup plans.

During the period of time between the Groomsmen Draft and the wedding, guests may become agitated and a brawl may break out. This "new friend" at work might hold you accountable if they ever get fired. The unexpectedly high cost of a home repair may have forced your best friend from junior high to cancel his cross-country road trip.

One among your best men or groomsmen might not be allowed to attend the wedding. If the best man can't make the ceremony (where he'll be in charge of holding the manly band), the bachelor party, or the night before, the next in command should be prepared to take over the role.

Your current and future brother-in-laws (your sister's hubby and your fiancé's sister's husband) can stand in as groomsmen if they can't make it to the wedding. Maybe you were a guy who was close but didn't quite make the first cut. Do not interrupt unless absolutely necessary; success in the task is of utmost importance.

To learn more, check out our post on How much does a suit for a wedding cost?

Here are a couple of tips to help you decide how to choose groomsmen and grooms women:

  • Although friends are likely to be at the forefront of your mind when thinking of potential groomsmen, it is customary to include at least one member of the bridal couple's immediate family. Whether it's a sibling, cousin, aunt, or even a cool uncle. Some grooms even invite their brother-in-law to the wedding.
  • When deciding on groomsmen, it's crucial that you find trustworthy people. You don't want any flaky guests who are going to be late, can't control their alcohol intake, or forget the rings (think 4 Weddings and a Funeral). Pick reliable friends to be your groomsmen and bridesmaids.
  • (You shouldn't put yourself in that jam!)
  • Even if you and your significant other aren't a "perfect couple," everyone has at least one friend who has been "shipping" (rooting) for you to end up together ever since you two first crossed paths. Possibly, you were even introduced. Incorporate them into your group.
  • They acted as the catalysts as you gushed over your partner incessantly to them.
  • Strive not to have any confrontations with other people, especially those with strong personalities. Not recommended unless you need a dramatic experience. Select the people you think will get along well with your best man. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you select your lifetime of groomsmen!

It would seem obvious how to pick your best man and his attendants. This is as it should be. Wedding planning is no easy task, and you may feel pressure from a variety of quarters as you deliberate over which friends to ask to be groomsmen.

But let's back up for a moment

Consider a film about a heist. Any will do, because they all contain the universally empowering utterance of three simple words: Gather your troops. That's exactly what you can do with your wedding if you've just gotten engaged. You need to pick a small group of reliable male friends to stand by your side on your wedding day. No one can deny the significance of the groomsmen in your wedding. Choosing the right men to stand alongside the groom is crucial.

You're going to choose the people you care about most. People you can count on to make your time worthwhile and who you can always count on to make you laugh. I mean, need I say more?

However, problems can arise when the groom is expected to select a certain number of groomsmen who aren't necessarily among his closest friends. This occurs when there are many bridesmaids and the groomsmen feel the need to equal that number. Okay, so here's the deal: There is no hard and fast rule that states you must coincide with the figures. Even though the bride has six bridesmaids, you can get away with only having four groomsmen. Or 10! It makes perfect sense that you and the future Mrs. may have more close friends than the two of you combined. So, forget about symmetry and concentrate on making sure your pirate crew looks good in their garb.

Do not worry if you are having a traditional wedding in which members of the wedding party walk down the aisle in pairs; the bridesmaids can serve double duty by walking a second lap. However, things can go wrong if you invite more men to be groomsmen than you actually need or want.

Keep in mind that these are the guys who will be instrumental in making your wedding day memorable for you and the bride. If you don't pick carefully, you might end up with groomsmen who are rude to the photographer, don't take their role as groomsman seriously, or do something even worse.

The one and only exception to this rule is if your bride has a brother or two. Whether or not you're as close to him as you are to the rest of your groomsmen, he's about to become a member of the family nonetheless. Start getting to know him better now!

In conclusion, trust your instincts. Selecting your groomsmen does not have to be a difficult or time-consuming process. Choose your closest friends, and you can be sure that they will be there for you through thick and thin, and that they will do their part to make your wedding day unforgettable.

Conclusion

Some grooms find it much more challenging than they had anticipated to select the best men for their wedding. Your crew can consist of anyone from your closest friends and family to brothers and cousins and even long-lost elementary school friends. Find out who you should invite to be a part of your dream wedding day team. One simple way to avoid any uncomfortable situations is to have fewer bridesmaids or best men. It's better to give a friend a call first if you know they're struggling financially rather than sending a formal request.

Give them the option of participating in other ways if financial constraints prevent them from contributing financially. One man for every 50 guests is a good number of groomsmen to have. If you and a sibling or other close relative are tying the knot, you shouldn't invite more than three guests. Don't just invite your best man and your closest friends to the wedding; invite your fiance's family and friends as well. The men you choose to be your groomsmen should be trustworthy and close to you.

Consider how long each person on your list has been supportive of you when things get rough. Pick the best four to six (or however many your soon-to-be-spouse-to-be prefers) to be in your wedding party. Groomsmen Draft: Verify that each potential best man has the financial means to rent a tux, take time off work, and travel to the wedding location. True bros don't just show up in tuxes with 12-year-old bottles of scotch. One member of the bridal couple's immediate family is traditionally invited.

It's not uncommon for grooms to extend an invitation to the bride's brother. You should avoid inviting people who are unpredictable, such as those who are going to be late or who can't keep their drinking under control. Picking the right best men to share the groom's special day with him is essential. There are six women helping the bride get ready, but you only need four men to help you get married. It's reasonable to assume that you and your future wife will have more mutual friends than the two of you would have individually.

The process of choosing your groomsmen need not be onerous or time-consuming. These dudes will go above and beyond to ensure that the happy couple has an amazing wedding day. Your bride's brothers are the only possible exemption to this rule.

Content Summary

  • Additionally, there is the best man decision to consider.
  • Even if you don't want your bridesmaids or groomsmen to have a major hand in organising the wedding, it's good to know you can count on them when you need them.
  • gifts, think about how well your wedding party will get along.
  • You should also not limit the guest list for the bachelor party to the men present at the wedding reception.
  • You should also invite your partner's family and friends to the wedding, not just the best man and your own.
  • Think of a best manThe best man selection process must now be discussed.
  • For your groomsmen, think about the men who play pivotal roles in your life right now.
  • One among your best men or groomsmen might not be allowed to attend the wedding.
  • If the best man can't make the ceremony (where he'll be in charge of holding the manly band), the bachelor party, or the night before, the next in command should be prepared to take over the role.
  • Pick reliable friends to be your groomsmen and bridesmaids. (
  • Select the people you think will get along well with your best man.
  • No one can deny the significance of the groomsmen in your wedding.
  • Choosing the right men to stand alongside the groom is crucial.
  • However, things can go wrong if you invite more men to be groomsmen than you actually need or want.
  • Keep in mind that these are the guys who will be instrumental in making your wedding day memorable for you and the bride.
  • Whether or not you're as close to him as you are to the rest of your groomsmen, he's about to become a member of the family nonetheless.
  • Selecting your groomsmen does not have to be a difficult or time-consuming process.
  • Choose your closest friends, and you can be sure that they will be there for you through thick and thin, and that they will do their part to make your wedding day unforgettable.

FAQs About Groomsmen

Your groomsmen should be your nearest and dearest – family members and friends who will stand by your side on one of the biggest days of your life.

Most weddings have at least two. This, ideally, should be the absolute minimum. An average of 3-5 groomsmen can be seen in a typical wedding, with numbers going to as high as 8-10 groomsmen for huge weddings.

The best man will typically give a speech at the reception. You might be asked to say a little something at the rehearsal dinner or even the reception. Just fair warning that a request for a groomsman toast could be coming down the pike.

Although you would think your presence is gift enough, the best man should also typically get the groom a gift—or organize a group gift from all the groomsmen—to celebrate his wedding.

The couple's groomsmen and bridesmaids (or attendants) have the opportunity to dance with both spouses. These can be for entire or partial songs, depending on the length of the reception. Eventually, all the wedding guests should have some time on the dance floor.

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