Choosing your groomsmen is a crucial step in wedding planning and can be more complex than expected.
Whether it’s a straightforward task for some or a challenging one for others, this process involves selecting from a variety of potential candidates such as close friends, brothers, cousins, or even old schoolmates.
Additionally, deciding on a best man and whether to include future in-laws adds another layer of consideration.
Follow this comprehensive guide to help you assemble the perfect team for your wedding day.
Let’s get straight to the point
Choosing groomsmen is an important part of wedding planning, requiring you to select reliable and supportive individuals from your family and friends.
Start by prioritising siblings and those who are dependable and have positive personalities.
Be mindful of the financial implications for your groomsmen and offer alternatives if necessary.
Ensure that your chosen group can get along well and contribute positively to your wedding day.
There are no strict rules about the number of groomsmen, so choose according to what feels right for you and your partner.
Ultimately, trust your instincts and create a team that will make your wedding day memorable.
1. Start with Family
Prioritise Siblings
When selecting your groomsmen, family members—particularly siblings—should be your first consideration.
If they are close to your age, they can be assigned prominent roles, such as best man or usher. Don’t forget to consider family members from your partner’s side as well.
Including the bride’s brother, for instance, can create a more inclusive and harmonious wedding party.
Include Family from Both Sides:
- Groom’s siblings or cousins
- Bride’s brothers (if applicable)
- Close family members who matter to both of you
2. Emphasise Reliability
The Importance of Dependable Groomsmen
Reliability is key when selecting your groomsmen. Even if you don’t expect them to handle major tasks, you’ll need them to stick to timelines and be dependable on the big day.
Choose friends or family members who are punctual and can manage responsibilities without needing reminders.
Questions to Ask:
- Have they shown consistent reliability in the past?
- Are they good with time management and meeting deadlines?
- Can they be trusted with small but important tasks?
3. Consider Personalities
Ensuring a Cohesive Group
Before asking someone to be a groomsman, consider their personality and how they will get along with others in the group.
While they don’t need to be best friends, try to avoid choosing individuals who may cause friction or tension.
Steps to Take:
- Assess how each person interacts in group settings.
- Avoid individuals with dominant or abrasive personalities.
- Aim for a mix of personalities that will work well together and foster a positive atmosphere.
4. Be Mindful of Budget
Financial Considerations for Groomsmen
Being a groomsman can be costly, with expenses such as travel, formalwear, and pre-wedding events.
If you know a friend is facing financial challenges, have an honest conversation with them and offer alternatives so they can still be part of your big day.
Suggestions:
- Offer to help cover expenses if your budget allows.
- Suggest alternative roles, like assisting with ceremony readings or helping with other wedding tasks.
- Be upfront about the financial expectations from the beginning.
5. Think About Feelings
Managing Expectations
If you want to avoid awkwardness and potential feelings of exclusion, consider having a smaller wedding party.
A smaller group can help reduce stress, and fewer groomsmen may make it easier to manage the dynamics.
Things to Consider:
- Keep the group small to avoid complications.
- Make sure close friends feel appreciated, even if they are not part of the wedding party.
- Focus on including those who are most significant in your life.
6. Determine the Number of Groomsmen
Finding the Right Balance
There is no strict rule for how many groomsmen you should have. A common guideline is one groomsman for every 50 guests, but it’s entirely up to you and your partner to decide what feels right.
Considerations:
- Adjust the number of groomsmen to suit the size of your wedding and your preferences.
- Only include those who are genuinely important to you.
- Ensure the group size feels right for you and your partner.
7. Consider Future In-Laws
Including Your Partner’s Family
Incorporating members of your partner’s family into the wedding party can strengthen relationships.
Your partner may want you to include a sibling or close friend, which can help foster unity between both families.
Ways to Include:
- Invite your partner’s brother or close friend to be part of the groomsmen.
- Strengthen family bonds by involving your partner’s side.
- Discuss any preferences your partner may have to ensure inclusivity.
8. Choosing the Best Man
Selecting the Right Person
Choosing the best man is one of the most important decisions in wedding planning.
This person should be reliable, organised, and supportive, as they will help coordinate the groomsmen and assist in various tasks leading up to the wedding.
Key Traits to Look For:
- Dependability: Can they manage their responsibilities?
- Supportiveness: Have they been a reliable friend over time?
- Organisation: Are they capable of handling the details?
9. Culling the Herd
Making Tough Decisions
If you have a large circle of friends, narrowing down your choices for groomsmen can be difficult. Focus on those who have played the most significant roles in your life and avoid feeling obligated to include everyone.
Steps to Take:
- Reflect on your most important relationships.
- Prioritise those who have supported you through significant life events.
- Keep the group manageable for a stress-free wedding day.
10. Avoiding New Friends
Choose Established Relationships
When selecting groomsmen, it’s important to focus on long-standing relationships. Including new friends or acquaintances may not be the best choice, as your wedding party should reflect those with whom you have deep and meaningful connections.
Guidelines:
- Prioritise friends and family with whom you have a long history.
- Ensure your groomsmen are people you can trust to represent you well.
11. Respect the Budget
Financial Considerations for Groomsmen
Being part of a wedding can be expensive, especially if it requires travel or purchasing special attire. Consider the financial situations of your groomsmen, and if needed, offer ways to reduce costs.
Suggestions:
- Be upfront about financial expectations.
- Help cover costs if possible or offer cheaper alternatives.
- Consider their budget and offer flexibility.
12. Have Backup Plans
Preparing for the Unexpected
Unexpected circumstances can arise that prevent a groomsman from attending your wedding. Be prepared with backup plans in case someone can’t make it.
What to Do:
- Have an alternate person ready to step in.
- Ensure roles can be reassigned quickly and easily.
- Stay flexible to manage changes with minimal stress.
Conclusion
Choosing groomsmen is an important and sometimes challenging part of wedding planning. Focus on reliability, personality, and financial considerations when making your decisions.
Don’t forget to include family members and those who have been significant in your life.
Ultimately, there are no strict rules about the number of groomsmen, so choose the people who matter most to you and your partner.
With careful thought and planning, you can create a supportive and cohesive group of groomsmen who will stand by your side and contribute to making your wedding day unforgettable.
Frequently Asked Questions
Who should you pick as groomsmen?
Your groomsmen should be your nearest and dearest – family members and friends who will stand by your side on one of the biggest days of your life.
What is the average amount of groomsmen?
Most weddings have at least two. This, ideally, should be the absolute minimum. An average of 3-5 groomsmen can be seen in a typical wedding, with numbers going to as high as 8-10 groomsmen for huge weddings.
Do all groomsmen give speeches?
The best man will typically give a speech at the reception. You might be asked to say a little something at the rehearsal dinner or even the reception. Just fair warning that a request for a groomsman toast could be coming down the pike.
Do the groomsmen buy the groom a gift?
Although you would think your presence is gift enough, the best man should also typically get the groom a gift-or organize a group gift from all the groomsmen-to celebrate his wedding.
Do groomsmen dance with bridesmaids?
The couple’s groomsmen and bridesmaids (or attendants) have the opportunity to dance with both spouses. These can be for entire or partial songs, depending on the length of the reception. Eventually, all the wedding guests should have some time on the dance floor.
