Weddings can be difficult and time-consuming, but maintaining a happy marriage takes much more effort. This is crucial if you want your marriage to last and flourish.
You'll never forget the first time you laid eyes on your future husband; your pulse raced, your palms perspired, and that goofy grin stayed on your face for days. Things progressed rapidly in the following weeks, and there were soon wedding bells in sight. It's a common problem that "many people spend more time arranging the wedding than they do planning the marriage." Is there a formula for a happy marriage?
If you treat your relationship like a perfectly manicured lawn, cracks will surface much like the weeds you've been ignoring appear in the lawn. In today's world, marriage is one of the most beautiful institutions. If you take care of it, you'll see that love lasts forever.
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FAQs About Weddings
Protect your marriage by regularly trying new things and sharing new experiences with your spouse. Make a list of the favorite things you and your spouse do together, and then make a list of the fun things you'd like to try. Avoid old habits and make plans to do something fresh and different once a week.
Safety, Faithfulness, Commitment and Reliability are 4 pillars of trust every marriage needs. If any one of these is missing, the roof starts caving in and the relationship starts to deteriorate. Marriages thrive when both partners feel safe and secure.
Sociologists researched traits that men tend to want their potential wife to have. These preferences include: Mutual attraction and love. Passion and friendship.
In a healthy marriage, a couple is supported by a partner who listens, respects, shares, and practices open and honest communication. They exhibit a willingness to compromise and are open to constructive criticism. In a healthy marriage, a couple feels happy and safe with their spouse.
A partner who is thoughtful, empathetic, and compassionate is more likely to take the time to try and understand how other people are feeling. They are more likely to care and to try to take action to resolve problems in a relationship. Beyond that, they are going to be more pleasant to be around in the long term.
First of All, Even Happy Couples Argue.
There is no such thing as a perfectly happy marriage. There are ups and downs in this relationship, just like any other. When a disagreement does arise. However, the partners in a healthy marriage listen to one another, identify when the discussion has veered off course, and work together to restore harmony.
A family and couples therapist even claims that some of the happiest couples they have ever worked with "had endured bad times." Having disagreements or going through a hard patch does not necessarily indicate an unhappy marriage. You're probably just a typical person if this is the case.
Small Things Often
If your marriage is a trip, then make sure you know which way is north. Modifying your approach gradually is much more manageable than making a drastic change afterwards when it might be too late. Making a number of minor adjustments at the outset can have a significant impact later on. Put out daily efforts to show kindness to others. It will serve as a gentle reminder of your mutual affection.
Celebrate Small, Good Moments.
Most of us understand the significance of supporting one another during difficult times in a relationship. But remembering the good times is also essential. More positive than negative events occur in a relationship, but partners frequently miss out on joyful occasions to bond.
Immediately stop what you are doing and focus your full attention the next time your husband communicates something nice, such as a compliment from their boss. You may help them savour the moment by encouraging them to reflect on it and join in their joy at the wonderful news. Taking this step will help you express appreciation for the good times shared in your marriage.
Process is Everything
Consider the therapy complete when the therapist is no longer necessary so that the couple may work through their issues. This indicates that the manner in which a couple communicates with one another is significantly more important than the words themselves.
Simply said, you need to be aware of (a) your current emotional state, (b) the causes of that state, and (c) the significance of your emotions. As you get better at this, you'll be able to have far more meaningful conversations with your partner.
Acknowledge Your Partner’s Feelings
Although you may not always agree with your partner, it is crucial to recognise the validity of their emotions. By letting your partner know how you truly feel, you will be helping to validate their emotions. In turn, the positive attention will strengthen your group's resolve to persevere during challenging times. You don't need to understand why or even agree with you; you simply need to be responsive to your emotions.
To learn more, check out our post on Is the first year of marriage the hardest?
Hibernate for a Day
Take the day off work when you two need to spend some quiet, meaningful time together. Make the most of it by lounging in bed and maybe even getting romantic with your partner. Don't worry about the specifics; just do whatever brings the two of you closer together.
Focus on Each Other’s Strengths.
Sometimes it's hard to look past the little things that drive you crazy, and you could even start to despise your partner. However, LMSW, a happy marriage requires both partners to accept each other's merits and flaws and establish reasonable goals for the relationship.
If you're better with numbers than they are, you shouldn't get mad if they manage to throw off the chequebook's balance. Instead, you should take charge of budgeting for the year. If they excel in the kitchen, they can prepare dinner. Using our strengths on a daily basis is related to increased well-being.
Don’t Stress Over the Small Stuff.
Be friends, don't sweat the small stuff, stay optimistic, give each other a break, hang out even when you can't but don't argue about it, and remember that most of the things we get upset over are completely irrational.
Don’t Expect Your Partner to Complete You.
Remember that Jerry Maguire only exists in the movies. That was a romantic declaration when he said, "You complete me," but it wouldn't fly in the real world. If you expect your partner to make you happy, you may wind up in a codependent relationship in which neither of you develops to your full potential. Instead of "completing" one another, partners in healthy relationships "complement" one another.
It's important to be vulnerable and open to the other person while feeling safe and whole inside ourselves. Instead of expecting your partner to fulfil this emptiness, focus on yourself by taking an interest-based class or scheduling time with friends.
Perfect Your Communication Skills
Communicating with your partner is essential for overcoming difficulties and is also the best approach to deepening your bond with them. Couples who successfully communicate their issues are more likely to be happy together than those whose marriages have ended in divorce.
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Choose to Be Attracted to Your Spouse.
What constitutes a "hot" spouse is ultimately up to you and your partner. Irrespective of your disbelief, the answer is yes. Staying physically attracted to your husband is a choice you may make at any point in your marriage.
We advise engaging in "attraction thoughts." You accomplish this by highlighting the qualities in your partner that you find most attractive, such as their great legs or how they raise your children (these qualities need not be physical).
Good news: physical attractiveness isn't contingent on your spouse's being a cover model. Relationships between spouses thrive when they feel close to one another. Attracting someone physically goes well beyond superficiality.
Negotiate a Mutually Satisfying Sexual Relationship.
You and your husband need to be willing to put in the effort to improve this area of your marriage. We have numerous strategies, such as reading about marital sex, going to therapy if necessary, and working on communication.
Understanding Must Precede Advice
Solving is a lousy strategy, especially when dealing with problems that won't go away. The first step towards a solution is always increasing one's capacity for empathy and comprehension. The phrase "I can appreciate how you'd feel that way because..." should be mastered.
Seek first to comprehend. You might want to double-check your answers. Then, attempt to get further comprehension. As with any subject, comprehension is the key to security. When you and your partner can openly share your different perspectives on an issue, it allows for more innovative approaches to problem solutions.
Outsourcing Can Work Wonders.
If there is a task that you both despise but can afford to have someone else take care of, do it. This could involve anything from purchasing a dishwasher to hiring a neighbourhood kid to mow the grass in exchange for some cash. It's probably worth whatever price you pay to keep your marriage from becoming a battleground over who has to take care of the kids.
You Don’t Have to Have High Standards
There are hidden truths. Assembling all of this information into memory is no easy task. The bright side is that it doesn't matter where you begin. Anytime. You don't have to go all out. Still, there's no reason why that couldn't happen right now. Experiment with a little act of goodwill. Perhaps an unexpected present. A simple "thank you" might go a long way. According to studies, even the smallest act of kindness can set a positive feedback loop that strengthens a couple's trust, closeness, and happiness.
Appreciate Each Other.
The person you're in a relationship with may not know how much they mean to you or even that you're thankful for them unless you tell them. Each person has a unique "love language" they choose to use to communicate this emotion. They may not even if you think your significant other understands how much you value them.
It's easy to take someone for granted when you're around them every day, but you shouldn't. We all need to feel recognised and reinforced for the things we are doing correctly, so let others know when they do something well and what you enjoy about them. If your partner prepares coffee in the morning, tell them how much you appreciate it. We could develop resentment and drift away if we don't feel appreciated.
Accept and Expect Change.
For a marriage to succeed, both partners must be open to change. Given that "we need" one thing now may not be "what we need" years from now, it's important to keep in mind that "our needs" are always changing as a result of people's growth and the development of relationships. It's vital to bend, flex, and pivot with each other in a balanced dance. For the simple reason, that happy couples encourage one another to develop into their full potential as individuals and as a unit. Up to the moment of your death.
Act as a Team
When you said "I do," you joined the other person as a partner. Instead of viewing issues through the lens of who is at fault, this perspective sees the relationship as a whole. One partner is responsible for the other in the event of any problem, illness, or setback. Fighting together through difficulties strengthens your relationship and aids your partner.
Laugh With Each Other.
Finding fun even in the midst of difficulty is helpful because life is stressful. Couples discover humour in both happy and sad moments because "often when a couple has humour, it suggests they have perspective. You can tell whether couples are truly happy by how comfortable they are with one another. Connecting with your spouse through laughing can strengthen your bond through inside jokes, an unexpected humorous text, or simply watching your favourite comedy together.
Be Kind to One Another.
It's vital to be courteous and understanding of your partner. Being overly critical and judgemental will likely lead to an increase in defensiveness and resentment. If you want to keep the peace in your marriage, you should avoid making personal attacks on your mate whenever possible. Instead of saying words like, "I told you not to say that." "I can't believe you're that lazy! You're terrible at doing the dishes." You may say, "Since I cooked supper, I'd appreciate it if you could do the dishes tonight." Hear how much more pleasant that is?
Learn to Listen and Reflect
One of the most important aspects of communication is the ability to listen attentively. True hearing is a gift not everyone possesses. But if you and your partner can listen to one another and then think about what was said and how it made the other person feel, you'll be well on your way to a happy marriage.
Attentive listening is the key to marital bliss. Making your partner feel heard and understood is a great way to show them you care. When we disagree with our partners, it can be challenging to validate their feelings and acknowledge their statements.
Listen to Your Spouse’s Need
Even if you think you know your partner very well, it's still crucial to make your feelings known when something is particularly weighty. As time goes on, people's priorities change, and it's in everyone's best interest to stay in sync. There are major issues at stake, such as sex, work, and politics.
Stay Close to Family and Friends
Marriage in the modern day is seen as a two-person cocoon from which both partners draw emotional and emotional support. Both practicality and sanity would dictate otherwise. It's important to keep loved ones informed. In addition to your spouse, you should cultivate other meaningful relationships.
Don’t Stop Saying ‘I Love You’.
Repeat the words "I love you" daily. Your partner could be killed in a vehicle accident, have a heart attack, or pass away from any other causes first thing in the morning. Your partner will forever remember the three words you said to them. Express your affection for them.
Keep Your Promise.
Marriage is a lifelong dedication. Keep in mind why you two decided to spend the rest of your lives together. Some people enter into marriage without fully appreciating the commitment it entails. In their heads, it's the same as acquiring a new roommate, sharing expenses, or throwing a lavish bash.
Marriage truly does unite two individuals into one. "...through thick and thin, in sickness and health, to love and cherish 'til death does us part." Those are sweet words, but your actions will define your marriage's success or failure.
One of life's greatest rewards is available to those who invest wholeheartedly in their marriage. You will find a companion with whom to share every emotion, from happiness to sadness.
The truth is that finding true love may elevate your best moments and soften your worst. In the words of Audrey Hepburn: "The best thing to hang onto in life is each other." You can be as happy in marriage as you can be infinite.
An ideal marriage doesn't exist. As with any relationship, there are good times and bad. Arguments and bad times are normal and should not be taken as signs of an unhappy marriage. Making small adjustments to one's strategy is much more doable than having to make a sudden shift later. Make sure you know which way is north before getting married.
Once your husband shares some good news, like a compliment from their superior, you should immediately stop what you're doing and give him your whole attention. Your ability to do this will improve over time, allowing you to have deeper and more meaningful talks with your partner. Acceptance of each other's strengths and weaknesses is essential for a healthy marriage. Both you and your partner should agree on what qualities make a "hot" spouse. A codependent relationship is a result of expecting your partner to fulfil all of your needs.
When partners in a marriage are emotionally close to one another, their relationships flourish. Couples who are able to talk things out are more likely to be content with each other. It's not necessary to go to extremes to let your significant other know how much they mean to you. A couple's trust, connection, and happiness can all benefit from a small act of kindness. Any number of things, from buying a dishwasher to paying a youngster from the neighbourhood to mow the lawn in exchange for money, fall under the umbrella term "outsourcing," which can lead to amazing results.
Both people in a marriage need to be flexible for it to last. In the event of adversity, one spouse is responsible for the other. When you and your partner work together to overcome adversity, your relationship grows stronger, and you benefit. As the saying goes, "frequently when a couple has humour, it shows they have perspective," and that's why couples find humour in both joyful and sad times. One of the best ways to express affection for your mate is to make them feel heard and understood.
The secret to marital happiness is listening to one another attentively. The fate of your marriage rests entirely in your hands. People often get married before they are ready for the long-term commitment it requires. Marriage has the potential to provide you as much joy as infinity itself.
- Having a wedding can be challenging and time-consuming, but keeping a marriage joyful takes even more work.
- This is an absolute must if you want your marriage to succeed and last.
- Treating your relationship like a well-kept lawn can only lead to the weeds you've been neglecting popping up in the crevices.
- Care for it, and you'll realise that love truly does last forever.
- An ideal marriage doesn't exist.
- As with any relationship, there are good times and bad.
- Arguments and bad times are normal and should not be taken as signs of an unhappy marriage.
- Make sure you know which way is north before getting married.
- You should make an effort to be nice to others every day.
- Honour pleasant, everyday experiences.
- We all know how important it is to have one other's backs through rough patches in a relationship.
- However, it is equally important to reflect on the positive moments.
- By doing so, you will be able to show your spouse how much you value the positive experiences you've enjoyed together.
- The therapy is considered complete when the therapist is no longer needed for the couple to work through their problems.
- Your ability to (a) recognise your current emotional state, (b) understand what factors contributed to that state, and (c) understand the significance of your emotions comes down to this: awareness.
- Your ability to do this will improve over time, allowing you to have deeper and more meaningful talks with your partner.
- Recognising the reality of your partner's emotions is essential, even if you don't always agree with them.
- Sharing your feelings with your partner is a great way to validate how they are feeling.
- All that's required is that you consider the feelings involved, regardless of whether you can fathom the reasoning behind them or even agree with them.
- Get some rest and maybe even indulge in passionate PDA with your significant other while you have the day off.
- Don't downplay each other's achievements.
- But LMSW, a happy marriage requires that both couples embrace each other's strengths and weaknesses and work towards common goals.
- Don't count on your partner to finish what you started.
- Expecting your partner to fulfil your needs can lead to a destructive pattern of codependency in which neither of you grows to your full potential.
- Partners in good relationships "complement" one another rather than "complete" one another.
- Talking is the way to go if you want to strengthen your relationship and go through tough times together.
- Decide to feel attracted to your partner.
- You have the option, at any time during your marriage, to continue feeling sexually attracted to your husband.
- Create a sexual relationship that you both like.
- Improving one's ability for empathy and understanding is always the first step towards finding a solution.
- If there is something you both hate doing but can afford to have someone else handle, you should do it.
- If you can avoid making your marriage a struggle over child care, it's definitely worth the cost.
- Truths are buried beneath the surface.
- To achieve your goals, you need not exert extraordinary effort.
- Try your hand at a small gesture of goodwill.
- Evidence suggests that even the simplest acts of kindness can have a beneficial ripple effect, increasing trust, intimacy, and happiness in a relationship.
- Respect one another.
- One's "love language" is the words and gestures one uses to express romantic or passionate feelings towards another.
- Even if you think your partner appreciates you, they may not.
- When you see someone frequently, it can be tempting to stop appreciating them.
- Both people in a marriage need to be flexible for it to last.
- Cooperation and coordination involving bending, flexing, and pivoting with one another are essential.
- When you said, "I do," you became legally bound to the other person.
- When you and your partner work together to overcome adversity, your relationship grows stronger, and you benefit.
- Couples that are at ease with one another are more likely to be successful.
- Act kindly towards one another.
- It's important to treat your partner with respect and empathy.
- If you value marital harmony, you should avoid making critical remarks about your partner.
- The secret to marital happiness is listening to one another attentively.
- One of the best ways to express affection for your mate is to make them feel heard and understood.
- It's important to express how you feel, even if you think your spouse already knows what you think when it comes to something significant.
- Maintaining communication with loved ones is crucial.
- You need to make an effort to build relationships with people outside of your marriage.
- Just keep on telling them you care about them.
- The words "I love you" should be uttered on a daily basis.
- Tell them how much you care about them.
- If you make a promise, you should keep it.
- Committing to one another for the rest of one's life is what marriage is all about.
"throughout the good times and the bad, in health and illness, to love and cherish 'til death do us part."
- True love has the potential to improve your best experiences and soothe your worst ones.