Writing your wedding vows can be a daunting yet profoundly meaningful task. This is when you express your love, commitment, and hopes for the future wrapped in a few heartfelt words.
Although expressing your emotions in words can be tough, the effort will undoubtedly make your wedding day unforgettable. Your vows will reflect your unique bond and touch the hearts of everyone present.
Here’s a step-by-step guide to writing a wedding vow that is sincere, touching, and uniquely yours.
Let’s get straight to the point.
Writing wedding vows is a meaningful task where you express love, commitment, and hopes for the future.
Start by describing your partner and what makes them special. Share a personal story that reflects your journey together, and include unique promises.
Discuss your shared future, keep the tone true to your relationship (whether humorous or sentimental), and aim for concise, heartfelt vows.
Avoid clichés, rehearse for a natural flow, and prepare a clean copy for the big day. Begin early, refine your words, and ensure your vows authentically reflect your bond and commitment.
Begin With A Description Of Your Partner
Your wedding vows should start by describing your partner. Think about who they are to you and what they mean in your life.
Consider the qualities that make them so special—those little things that made you fall in love with them in the first place.
Key Points to Include:
- The person they are to you: Are they your best friend, soulmate, and confidant?
- What you love about them: Reflect on the unique qualities that drew you to them. What makes them stand out in your life?
- When you realised you were in love: Was there a moment when everything clicked for you?
- The impact they have on you: What do you appreciate the most? Is it their humour, their kindness, their ability to listen?
For instance, you might write, “From the moment we met, I knew you were the one who would make my life whole. Your kindness and laughter are the light in my day, and I am so lucky to have you by my side.”
Share A Personal Story Or Anecdote
Once you’ve expressed your love, it’s time to bring it to life with a personal story or an anecdote.
Sharing a memorable moment that encapsulates your journey together helps create a deeper connection with your audience and shows the depth of your relationship.
Possible Story Ideas:
- How you met: This could be a funny, sweet, or poignant story of how you first encountered each other.
- A significant moment: Perhaps a life event where your partner stood by you—whether it was a challenging time or a joyous occasion.
- The growth of your relationship: Share a moment that reflects how far you’ve come together as a couple.
Example: “I still remember the day we went on our first hike together. We were both so nervous, but I felt so at ease with you by my side. That day, I realised I’ll always want to go on that journey with you no matter where life takes us.”
Make Unique Promises
One of the most important parts of writing your wedding vows is making promises to your partner.
This is the part of the vow where you commit yourself to them, not just in the good times but in the tough moments.
Types of Promises:
- Traditional vows: Such as promising to love, honour, and cherish them.
- Personal promises: could be more specific to your relationship, such as promising to support their dreams or share household chores.
- Humorous promises: If it suits your relationship, you might want to include something lighthearted like, “I promise to let you watch your favourite TV shows without complaining.”
Example: “I promise to support your dreams, even when they seem impossible. I will always be by your side through every challenge, every triumph, and every quiet moment.”
Discuss Your Shared Future
Your vows should reflect the present and the future you envision together. Think about the life you plan to build as a couple and express your hopes and dreams.
Areas to Cover:
- Your shared goals could involve buying a house, travelling the world, or starting a family.
- Facing challenges together: Acknowledge that life won’t always be easy, but assure your partner that you will face whatever comes together.
- Hopes for your relationship: What do you want to achieve together, whether it’s growing old, building a career, or simply living a joyful life?
For example, “I look forward to growing old with you, experiencing the world through your eyes, and facing every challenge hand in hand, knowing that we are stronger together.”
Keep The Tone True To Your Relationship
Wedding vows can be serious, but they don’t have to be. The tone of your vows should reflect who you are as a couple.
If humour is a big part of your relationship, please add levity. If you are more sentimental, focus on the deeper aspects of your bond.
Tone Considerations:
- Humorous: A light, playful tone can make your vows more personal and relatable.
- Sentimental: If you both tend to be more serious, your vows can be heartfelt and deep.
- Balanced: You can also combine both, sharing your love while adding a touch of humour.
Example: “I promise to love you when we’re at our best, especially when we’re not, like when you forget to put the toilet seat down.”
Keep It Short And Sweet
While wedding vows are deeply meaningful, they don’t need to be long. Aim for something sincere, but takes little time. Most people can say what they want in 1-2 minutes.
Key Tips:
- Focus on key points: The most important aspects of your relationship should be front and centre.
- Avoid repetition: There’s no need to repeat the same thing.
- Keep it concise: Focus on what matters most and say it as clearly and succinctly as possible.
For instance, “I promise to be your partner in every sense of the word, sharing every joy and shouldering every burden with you.”
Get A Head Start
Don’t leave writing your vows to the last minute. Starting early gives you time to reflect on your relationship, get inspired, and ensure your vows are as meaningful as possible.
Tips:
- Start writing early: Give yourself ample time to think about the words you want to use.
- Edit and revise: Your first draft won’t be perfect, so leave room for editing.
- Take breaks: If you feel stuck, take a break and return with a fresh perspective.
Talk To Your Partner About Your Vows
Although it’s traditional for wedding vows to be a surprise, it’s helpful to have a conversation with your partner about the tone and style of your vows.
Discuss whether you both want to keep things formal or inject some humour. This conversation can help you feel more at ease and ensure you’re both on the same page.
Considerations:
- Tone and style: Will your vows be humorous, traditional, or something more unique?
- Format: Will you write them separately or together?
Avoid Clichés And Overused Phrases
When writing your vows, avoiding overused phrases or clichés is important. While it’s easy to fall back on popular sayings, your vows should reflect your feelings and experiences. Avoid generic statements that don’t mean much to you as a couple.
Example: Instead of saying, “I promise to love you forever,” consider something more unique, like, “I promise to keep discovering new things to love about you daily.”
Rehearse And Refine
Once you’ve written your vows, practice reading them aloud. This helps ensure that your words flow naturally and feel comfortable. Rehearsing will allow you to adjust if anything feels too awkward or unclear.
Rehearsal Tips:
- Read aloud: Practice until you can say the vows without stumbling.
- Refine awkward phrases: Make sure every sentence feels natural and true to you.
- Keep it authentic: Ensure your vows sound like you, not like someone else’s words.
Keep It Simple
Making your vows elaborate or overly grand is tempting, but simplicity can often be more powerful. Focus on saying exactly what you feel in a straightforward, sincere way.
Example: “You are my heart, and I promise to cherish and love you for the rest of my life.”
Have A Clean Copy Ready
Before the big day, ensure you have a neat, legible copy of your vows. Whether you write them out by hand or type them, have a final version you can read clearly on your wedding day.
Tips:
- Keep it neat: If handwritten, ensure it’s legible.
- Prepare a backup: If you’re nervous, have a copy for your officiant or a trusted friend to hold.
Conclusion
Writing your wedding vows is a deeply personal experience that can take time, but it’s one of the most meaningful aspects of your wedding day. Following these steps, you can create heartfelt, unique vows representing your journey as a couple.
Whether you are sentimental, humorous, or a mix of both, your vows should reflect your true feelings and commitment to your partner. Remember, your vows are for the day and a lifetime. The promises you make will shape the future you build together, and that’s beautiful.
FAQs About Wedding Vow
How Long Should Wedding Vows Be?
Two to three minutes. Suppose you need help to determine the length of your vows. In that case, sticking to the ideal length of two to three minutes is enough to communicate the details of your love story, your partner’s qualities, and your promises while short enough to keep everyone’s attention.
What Are Vows Supposed To Be?
Vows aren’t just cute anecdotes-they are a promise and serious commitment you’re making in front of many witnesses. That doesn’t mean they have to be heavy, though.
Who Goes First In The Wedding Vows?
Traditionally, the groom would say his vows first, followed by the bride. However, there are no rules for that wedding tradition, and many couples now choose other ways to determine who goes first, particularly at LGBTQIA+ and nondenominational weddings.
When Should You Start Writing Your Vows?
Start writing your vows early, at least 3 months before your wedding. This will give you the time you need without feeling rushed and enough time to complete your other wedding-related tasks leading up to your big day!
Do We Need To Coordinate Our Vows?
Discussing the tone and length of your vows with your partner is helpful to ensure they complement each other. However, if that’s important to you both, keep the actual content a surprise.
