How to Write a Wedding Vow?

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Writing your wedding vows might seem daunting and difficult—and writer’s block is actual, trust us—but it’ll be so worth it when you’re at the altar. 

Perhaps there’s no better way to add your unique spin to your wedding day. Writing your vows for your wedding? We’re here to help you out. Vines of the Yarra Valley is your perfect wedding venue in Melbourne delivering fairytale weddings for the bride and groom.

Here are some tips and tricks about how to write vows that are meaningful—and also capable of amazing, amusing and touching the hearts of your wedding guests. There probably won’t be a dry eye in the house! 

Types Of Wedding Vows

Wedding vows are highly personal. They’re the particular words that will unite you, and they represent your commitment to one another, so take your time finding the perfect wording for your ceremony—or even write your own.

This assortment of vows will help you get started on finding the perfect vows for you, whether your ceremony is traditional, non-traditional, religious, or secular.

Traditional Wedding Vows

Traditional doesn’t necessarily mean “boring.” For example, when vows are actual, nothing is boring about them.

Plus, if you use these classic vows, there are many other ways to personalise your ceremony. So consider these traditional wedding vows a jumping-off point.

Personalised Wedding Vows

Personalising your wedding vows is a great way to reflect upon your relationship. These are great examples, although you could certainly get more personal. 

Religious Wedding Vows

For religious brides, grooms, and families, a church ceremony is something truly sacred. So incorporate your faith into your vows for a unique tradition you’ll never forget. 

If you’d like to personalise your religious wedding vows, check with your officiant before you get started. 

How To Write Wedding Vows

how to write a wedding vow

Writing memorable wedding vows is all about speaking from the heart and putting your feelings onto paper, but it isn’t always easy. 

Start With A Statement About Who This Person Is To You. 

Your best friend, your lover, your partner in crime, or your everything. Continue by saying what it is you love about your partner. 

What about this person has led you to promise forever? When did you realise you were in love? What do you miss when you’re not around each other? 

Jotting down all of your ideas and each of the things you love about this person can make it easier to get your thoughts together, find a theme and focus on a few items that stand out. 

Don’t worry about saying every little thing; if you were to do that, your ceremony would go on forever.

Use A Story To Bring This Love To Life. 

This is a great moment to tell a story or use an anecdote to bring your love to life. 

A personal story is memorable and will give your guests an intimate look into your love for one another.

Lay Out Exactly What It Is You Are Promising. 

Make promises to your partner and vow to stick to them. Such as, “I vow always to support you,” or “I promise never to steal the covers unless you’re hogging them.” 

Mention specific ways you will show your love— in romantic ways, funny ways and ways only the two of you could understand. 

If the two of you are celebrating your faith on your wedding day, you can incorporate religious wedding vows and wedding bible verses too. Use words like “I vow, I promise, and I pledge.”

Personalise Your Promise. 

Use romantic wedding vows to encompass your promise, love and devotion. Use funny wedding vows to personalise your pledge. 

Your wedding day will be one of the happiest days of your life. Add humour to your wedding vows, so they stay true to the two of you.

Mention Specific Things The Two Of You Will Do Together. 

Continue this portion of your vows by mentioning the specific things you will accomplish together. Using phrases like: “With you,” “I will,” and “Together.”

Don’t forget to add that you’ll be there even when times get rough. Reassure your partner that this is for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.

Wrap Your Vows Up With A Look Towards The Future. 

Think about your goals, aspirations and future. Will your love help you through the home remodel? How will your passion set the tone for the way you raise your family? What are you looking forward to sharing with this particular person?

Wedding Vow Template

While traditional wedding vows are usually very structured, you don’t have to be quite as strict while writing your own. This outline is a great place to help you get started.

“As long as we both shall live.” End your vows with one last promise, the promise of forever, for eternity and until death do us part.

Say, “I love you.” This seems like a no-brainer, but Honaman says she is shocked at how many couples leave those three little words out of their vows.

Tell your partner you’ll be there through thick and thin. Most wedding vows touch on sticking around through good times and bad. 

The reality is all marriages have cycles of peaks and valleys. So it’s nice to communicate your intent to get through those valleys together.

Share personal stories. It’s so much more interesting for friends or family to hear about your odd quirks and raw, intimate moments. 

Guests (and your S.O.) want to hear vows that are real. So if you’ve been through bumpy spots, you should express that.

Make promises. Vows aren’t just cute anecdotes—they are a promise and fierce commitment you’re making in front of many witnesses. 

That doesn’t mean they have to be heavy, though. You can vow to not only stick by their side forever but also be the one to kill spiders whenever they creep their way into your home.

Acknowledge the support you’ll need from others. You’ve gathered your friends and family to celebrate your wedding, but you’ll need them just as much during your marriage. Acknowledge the role of family and friends who will help support you when times get tough.

Tips For Writing Wedding Vows

Keep the following tips for writing your wedding vows in mind while going through the steps above:

Start Early. 

Begin crafting your vows early so you’ll have plenty of time to find inspiration, to procrastinate and to enjoy thinking up all the reasons you are saying, “I, Do!”

Talk Vows Over With Your Fiancé.

You’ll want to keep the final product a secret and a surprise for your wedding day. 

Although, it can help you feel more comfortable getting started if you and your partner agree on a specific style, format or tone for your vows. Will the two of you incorporate some of the same promises as traditional wedding vows? 

Are you going to stick to romantic promises or incorporate a more light-hearted tone? Some couples even decide to share their vows before the wedding day. The best part is that the two of you get to decide what you prefer!

Surround Yourself With Memories. 

Whether it’s old photographs, your first love note or unique keepsakes, these items will remind you of all the moments the two of you have shared. 

One moment may remind you of another, which may lead to that one time, and the next thing you know it, you’ll have too many ideas.

Make A-List. 

When you first sit down to write your vows, don’t be stressed about writing complete sentences. Instead, start jotting down everything that comes to mind.

If you get stuck, answer a few questions about your relationship. 

  • Why did you decide to get married?
  • What did you think when you first saw them?
  • When did you realise you were in love?
  • What do you have now that you didn’t have before you met?
  • How have they changed your view of the world?
  • What do you miss when you’re apart from each other?
  • What hard times have you gone through together?
  • What makes your relationship tick?

Get Inspired. 

You can look through different wedding vow examples, including the ones featured below. You’ll be able to find plenty of inspiration. 

You can also pull inspiration from your favourite poets, authors, or romantic movies, as long as you don’t let someone else’s words overpower your own.  

Once you’ve found a few ideas you love, determine what it is about those vows that you are drawn to and try to incorporate that into your own. Lacking imagination a little? Check out our list of Wedding Decorators in Melbourne here.

Avoid Anything Too Personal Or Embarrassing. 

You’ll want your guests to be able to follow along with what you’re saying and be a part of this particular moment. 

Limit the inside jokes and any words you second guess as you re-read what you’ve written. You can also have a friend read through your vows and make sure you didn’t miss anything.

Take A Break. 

Sometimes your best writing happens when you come back to it the next day. If you need a break, then take one. This is the reason you started early in the first place.

Read Lots Of Vow Examples For Inspiration On How To Write Wedding Vows.

Start by reading traditional, by-the-book vows from your religion if you practice a particular faith and others as well, to see what strikes a chord with you. 

Incorporate these samples into the original words you write or use them as a jumping-off point. 

Once you’ve found a few you love, consider what it is about the style that draws you to those vows in particular.

Agree On Format And Tone With Your Partner.

Decide how you want your vows to come across. Do you envision them as humorous? Poetic and romantic? Go over the logistics too. Will you write them separately or together? 

Will they be completely different, or will you make the same promises to each other as you would with traditional vows? 

Some couples do a little of each. Finally, will you share them or keep them a secret until the wedding day?

Jot Down Notes About Your Relationship.

Take some time to reflect on your partner. 

Think about how you felt when you first met, what made you fall in love and when you knew you wanted to spend the rest of your lives together. 

Write it all out to get your creative gears turning. Then, ask yourself specific questions and think about things like why you decided to get married, what hard times you’ve gone through together, what you’ve supported each other through, what challenges you envision for your future, what you want to accomplish together, what makes your relationship tick, what you thought when you first saw your partner when you realised you were in love, what you respect most about your partner, how your life has gotten better since meeting your partner, what inspires you about your partner, what you miss most about them when you’re apart—and so on. 

Come Up With One Or Two, Or Many, Promises.

They’re called vows for a reason, so the promises are the most crucial part. Include promises that are broad in scope (like, “I promise I’ll always be there to support you,” for instance), as well as ones that are very specific to the two of you (like, “I promise I’ll always let you watch Game of Thrones on Sundays.”)

Include A Story That Demonstrates Your Love.

Everyone loves to hear about how two people in love first met. Were you out grocery shopping at midnight? 

Did a friend set you up on a blind date? Or, perhaps you worked together for a year before romance sparked. 

No matter what your love story is, here’s a quick tip for how to write wedding vows––even if your friends and family have already heard it, this is the perfect place to retell it.

When Writing Wedding Vows, Write It All Out.

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Now that you have noted, you’re ready to establish a structure and write your first draft. 

It’s helpful to break it into a four-part outline: Affirm your love, praise your partner, offer promises and close with a final vow. 

Another way to organise it is to start with a short story and then follow up on it at the end.

Avoid Clichés.

Now that you have your first draft, it’s time to make edits. 

Borrow from nonreligious poetry and books, and even from romantic movies, but don’t let someone else’s words overpower your own. 

You want your vows to sound like you and relate to your relationship, and that won’t happen if every word is borrowed from other sources. 

And if you find yourself relying on cliché phrases (you know, those sayings that have been used over and over so many times they no longer sound genuine) to get your point across, try coming up with a specific example from your relationship that has a similar message. 

For example, instead of saying, “Love is blind,” you might say, “You’ll always be the most beautiful person to me, whether you’re in sweatpants or dressed to the nines.”

Take Out Anything Too Cryptic Or Embarrassing.

You’ve invited your family and friends to witness your vows to make your bond public, so be sure everyone feels included at the moment. 

That means putting a limit on inside jokes, deeply personal anecdotes and obscure nicknames or code words. 

You’ll want to think about how your vows will sound ten years from now. 

If you’re okay with sharing your vows beforehand, you can have a friend, or family member read it over ahead of time for feedback. 

Remember That Things May Get Tough.

On the day of your wedding, it may feel like your marriage will always be perfect. But the reality is that your future together will likely include challenging times.

When writing wedding vows, you might want to include a nod to this possibility––and the ways the two of you plan to cope. 

Include A Reference To The Future. 

Of course, your future will also include some beautiful times. So what do you envision for your life together? 

Perhaps you plan to travel the world, get a dog and then have children. If you want to share your plans, consider this when deciding exactly how to write vows.

Shorten Your Vows To One To Two Minutes, Max.

Your vows are important, but that doesn’t mean they should drag on. 

When you say something meaningful, you shouldn’t have to say it over and over—so pick the most critical points and make them. 

If yours are running longer than two minutes, make some edits. 

Put some of the more personal thoughts in a letter or gift to your partner on the morning of your wedding and save any guest-related topics for your toasts.

Practice Out Loud (Seriously). 

It might sound a little awkward, but this is the best way to prepare. Remember to practice, listen to yourself and improve from there. 

Your vows should be easy to say and sound conversational. As you recite them, listen for any tongue twisters and super-long sentences, then cut them. 

This is also the time to practice the delivery. And remember: When you’re at the altar, stand straight, look at your spouse and use your hands expressively (but only in small gestures). 

Make A Clean Copy For Yourself.

The paper you read from should be legible, so even if you’re working on it right up until a few moments before your ceremony, use a fresh piece of paper free of cross-outs, arrows and notes. 

And give some thought to the presentation, too, because it’ll likely end up in the photos. You can handwrite it in a sweet journal or vow book or cut and paste the computer print to fit within that. 

And it also makes a lovely keepsake to hang in your home later on. Also, have a backup plan. For example, if you find yourself too emotional to speak (it happens!), you can have your officiant either prompt you by quietly saying the vows first or read the vows on your behalf.

After Writing Your Vows, Ask Your Friends And Relatives To Hold You To Them.

Although writing wedding vows can be difficult, it’s got nothing on actually following through on them. 

After all, marriage isn’t always rosy. 

The good news is that since your closest friends and family members will be there to witness your commitment to each other, you can ask them to remind you of your wedding vows if you are ever tempted to break them.

Too busy with life to really plan your wedding in detail? Have someone else do it for you and check out our list of Wedding Planners in Melbourne to help take the stress away.

Conclusion

The most accurate form of love is unconditional kind. You can show off this type of love by writing vows that speak from the heart and reflect your journey with your partner. 

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