What can I expect at a Jewish wedding?

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    Attending a Jewish wedding in Australia is a remarkable experience filled with rich traditions, joyful celebrations, and meaningful rituals.

    Whether the couple practices Orthodox, Conservative, or Reform Judaism, you can expect time-honoured customs that reflect the significance of their union. 

    In this article, we will explore what typically occurs at a Jewish wedding, from the rituals to the reception, and what makes this occasion so memorable.

    Let’s get straight to the point

    A Jewish wedding is a rich and meaningful experience filled with traditional rituals.

    Key moments include the signing of the Ketubah (marriage contract), the Kabbalat Panim (pre-wedding receptions), and the ceremony under the chuppah, where the couple shares wine and receives blessings. 

    The bride may circle the groom, and the ceremony ends with the groom breaking a glass, symbolising life’s fragility. 

    The reception features joyous dancing like the Hora and traditional customs like the Mezinke Tanz. Guests often give monetary gifts in multiples of 18, wishing the couple prosperity.

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    Jewish Wedding Ceremonies

    A Jewish wedding is much more than just a ceremony—it’s a meaningful event full of cultural, historical, and religious traditions that symbolise the couple’s commitment to one another.

    Though different denominations may add their own variations, certain practices remain universal in Jewish weddings.

    1. Ketubah: The Marriage Contract

    One of the most important elements of a Jewish wedding is the Ketubah, a traditional marriage contract signed before the ceremony. The Ketubah outlines the couple’s responsibilities to one another.

    Historically, it focused primarily on the groom’s obligations, particularly in terms of financial support, ensuring the bride’s well-being in case of divorce or death.

    In modern times, the Ketubah is more than just a legal document; it also serves as a symbol of the spiritual commitment the couple makes to each other.

    Many couples choose to have their Ketubah beautifully decorated with calligraphy and intricate designs, making it a piece of art they can proudly display in their home.

    The Ketubah represents the bond between the bride and groom and the promises made on their wedding day.

    2. Kabbalat Panim: Pre-Wedding Rituals

    In many Jewish weddings, the couple participates in a unique pre-wedding tradition known as Kabbalat Panim, where the bride and groom each host separate receptions.

    This often happens just before the ceremony, and it is common for the bride and groom to avoid seeing each other for an entire week leading up to the wedding day.

    During Kabbalat Panim, the bride, known as the kalá, is seated on a special chair or symbolic “throne.” Guests come to greet her, offering their well wishes and congratulations.

    The groom, or jatán, is surrounded by friends and family, often accompanied by singing and dancing, creating a celebratory atmosphere.

    These separate receptions allow the bride and groom to be celebrated individually by their respective communities, building anticipation for the ceremony to come.

    3. Jewish Wedding Processional

    Unlike traditional Christian weddings, where the bride typically walks down the aisle alone or with her father, Jewish weddings include both parents of the bride and groom in the processional.

    The bride and groom are each escorted down the aisle by both of their parents. This act symbolises the unity of two families, highlighting the importance of family in Jewish life and marriage.

    The wedding ceremony takes place under a chuppah, a canopy that represents the couple’s new home together.

    The chuppah is open on all sides, symbolising hospitality and the welcoming of guests, just as Abraham and Sarah welcomed visitors to their tent in biblical times.

    The canopy serves as both a literal and symbolic home for the couple, a place where they will begin their new life together.

    4. Rituals Under the Chuppah

    Several significant rituals take place under the chuppah during a Jewish wedding ceremony.

    One of the most notable elements is the sharing of wine, which is a symbol of joy and celebration in Jewish tradition. The couple shares two cups of wine during the ceremony, with blessings recited over each one.

    The first cup of wine is used during the Kiddushin, which is the sanctification of the marriage. This is the formal betrothal, where the couple commits themselves to one another.

    The second cup of wine is shared during the Sheva Berakhot, or Seven Blessings, which are blessings recited over the couple, celebrating their union and their future life together.

    The Sheva Berakhot are often recited by family members, close friends, or the officiant. Each blessing connects the couple’s union to their faith, their community, and their shared joy.

    These blessings are an essential part of the ceremony, symbolising the broader community’s support and celebration of the couple’s marriage.

    5. The Bride Circles the Groom

    In some Jewish weddings, the bride circles the groom seven times under the chuppah. This ritual represents the creation of a new household and the completeness of their union.

    The number seven is significant in Judaism, symbolising completeness and the creation of the world. This custom is deeply symbolic, highlighting the establishment of a new family and home.

    6. Breaking of the Glass

    One of the most well-known and anticipated moments in a Jewish wedding is the breaking of the glass at the end of the ceremony. Traditionally, the groom steps on a glass, which is often wrapped in cloth for safety.

    This act has multiple interpretations, but the most common explanation is that it commemorates the destruction of the First Temple in Jerusalem, serving as a reminder of the fragility of life and the importance of remembering sorrow even in moments of great joy.

    As soon as the glass is broken, guests shout, “Mazel Tov!”, a Hebrew expression meaning congratulations or good luck. The breaking of the glass signifies the conclusion of the ceremony and the beginning of the celebration.

    Jewish Wedding Receptions

    After the wedding ceremony, the reception is a time for joyous celebration. Jewish wedding receptions are full of dancing, traditional rituals, and shared moments of happiness that make the day unforgettable.

    1. Blessing the Challah

    The reception typically begins with the blessing of the challah, a braided loaf of bread that is central to many Jewish rituals. The blessing is usually led by a family member or a close friend and marks the beginning of the meal.

    The challah symbolises the couple’s shared sustenance, nourishment, and future life together, reinforcing the idea that marriage is a partnership based on shared responsibilities.

    2. The Hora: Traditional Dance

    One of the most exciting and joyful parts of a Jewish wedding reception is the Hora, a traditional dance where the newlyweds are lifted onto chairs as guests dance in circles around them.

    The lively music, often accompanied by the popular Jewish song “Hava Nagila”, fills the room as guests clasp hands and form a dance circle.

    The Hora is not just a fun tradition—it symbolises the community’s support for the couple. By lifting the bride and groom into the air, the guests are showing their excitement and commitment to celebrating the couple’s union.

    The couple holds onto a handkerchief or cloth as they are lifted, representing their connection and unity.

    3. Mezinke Tanz: A Special Dance for the Parents

    At some Jewish weddings, you might encounter a unique tradition known as the Mezinke Tanz, also called the Krenzel Dance. This dance takes place when the last child in a family gets married. 

    The parents of the bride or groom sit on chairs in the middle of the dance floor while family and friends dance around them, congratulating them on the marriage of their final child.

    It is a moment of pride for the parents and is a way for the community to honour them for raising their children and reaching this important milestone.

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    Gift-Giving Traditions at Jewish Weddings

    If you’re attending a Jewish wedding, you may be wondering about the appropriate gift. In Jewish tradition, monetary gifts are often given in multiples of 18.

    This is because the number 18 represents chai, which means “life” in Hebrew. By giving a monetary gift in multiples of 18 (e.g., $54, $72, or $108), guests symbolically wish the couple a long and prosperous life together.

    Jewish weddings emphasise the idea of blessings, community, and support, so the giving of gifts is an important part of the celebration.

    Whether you choose to give your gift before the wedding or bring it to the reception, it is always appreciated and seen as a way to contribute to the couple’s future.

    Yichud: A Private Moment for the Couple

    After the wedding ceremony, Jewish tradition allows the bride and groom to have a brief moment of privacy, which is known as Yichud. During this time, the couple retreats to a private room where they can spend a few quiet minutes together as husband and wife, reflecting on the significance of the day and their new status.

    In some cases, Yichud also serves as the time when the couple breaks their fast if they have been fasting in preparation for the wedding. This private moment is an opportunity for the bride and groom to connect on a personal level before they rejoin their guests for the reception.

    Conclusion

    Attending a Jewish wedding in Australia offers a unique and memorable glimpse into a tradition rich with history, symbolism, and joy.

    From the signing of the Ketubah to the breaking of the glass and the lively Hora dance, every aspect of a Jewish wedding is imbued with meaning and reflects the couple’s commitment not only to one another but to their faith, family, and community.

    Whether you are attending your first Jewish wedding or are a seasoned guest, the experience is sure to be filled with beauty, emotion, and moments of celebration.

    Jewish weddings are more than just a ceremony—they are a joyous expression of love, unity, and the creation of a new family. Through the rituals, the blessings, and the shared celebrations, a Jewish wedding is truly an unforgettable event.

     

    Frequently Asked Questions

    What happens at a Jewish wedding?

    While wedding ceremonies vary, common features of a Jewish wedding include a ketubah (marriage contract) which is signed by two witnesses, a chuppah or huppah (wedding canopy), a ring owned by the groom that is given to the bride under the canopy, and the breaking of a glass.

    What are the rules of a Jewish wedding?

    According to Jewish law, getting married is an exceedingly simple affair: The bride accepts something worth more than a dime (in today’s currency) from the groom, the groom utters words of acquisition and consecration, these two actions are witnessed, and voila, the happy couple is married.

    What is a traditional Jewish wedding?

    Traditionally Jewish weddings are held outside with a canopy (chuppah) covering the bride (kallah) and groom (chatan). The ceremony includes two distinct rituals, the betrothal (kiddushin) and the completion of the marriage itself (ni’usin).

    Do Jews kiss at their wedding?

    The couple will then usually kiss, and guests shout “Mazel Tov!” meaning “Congratulations!” There are many conflicting reasons why this Jewish wedding tradition takes place, but it’s most commonly thought of as a reference to the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem.

    Does Judaism allow for divorce?

    There is no civil marriage or divorce. Between Jews, marriage and divorce fall under the jurisdiction of government-sanctioned rabbinical courts.

    These courts continue to put divorce under the control of the man. This idea that the rabbis’ hands are tied and there are no other options is false.

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